tried and tested methods

now, i'm not sure if you know this already but men are crafty and sneaky creatures. women are complicated in that diorang ikut emotion but men are plain ol' crafty but we just normally pretend not to see it. i mean, there's no way they're as evil as that kan? wrong. they ARE as evil as that.

it's genius in it's simplicity. men approach relationships like they would any kind of problem. know what you want and create a plan of action to achieve the objective. without the enemy realising all this, of course.

now i'm not saying hanye lelaki keji yang just wants to get in your pants do it....macam dlm made of honor, tak keji pon mamat tuh.   

tried and tested methods pour larguer  une fille :

1. take off all her photos from your facebook/friendster page
2. start watching football/rugby or play ps, cs obsessively
3. try all possible ways to annoy her
4.  be as mean as possible to her in front of her friends, bonus points if you make her cry
5. restraint yourself from any form of household chores
6. stop calling/skyping/msn/replying messages or whatever contact you normally do like 10 times a day
7. avoid affectionate gestures
8. subtly instigate arguments that would make her feel guilty for expecting too much and that no man could possibly measure up (padahal it was a simple, courtesy thing)

dengan subtlenye buat the girl rase that you're definitely not 'THE ONE' by perlahan2 buang sume qualities yang ko rase die suke pasal ko. then bile die start having doubts, remain friendly and blasé about the relationship. eventually, she'll start questioning herself and the relationship and end it - leaving you to play the victim card and avoiding guilt. jangan lupe buat2 sedey mase break up (but not too sedey or she'll change her mind) to make it more believable.  

biasenye langkah2 yang dijalankan bile diorang start bosan. bole tak lain kali cakap je "i think we should stop." like an adult.

teknik2 that diorang bajet works any time they want you to forgive them:

1. main guitar lagu sappy 
2. buat satu remarque bodoh and buat muke comel
3. cakap "alah, main2 je, takkan marah kot" pasal nombor 1 sampai 8 di atas
4. google quote2 sweet yg safe macam "i cannot live without my favourite friend"
5. bagi ayat2 angst and menyesal
6. beg for forgiveness in ways that looks like they're swallowing their pride (kalo pompuan buat mesti betol2 dah swallow pride but when guys do it, besok dah bole jadi jerk balik)

okay, well i didn't spend the entire day thinking of all the ways every boy has ever pissed me off, or obsessing about failed relationship k. i have better things to do. truth be told, i'm kinda impressed with all the effort they put into it. unlike girls who get carried away with emotions. since i've figured it all out i thought i'd share.

of course, this doesn't necessarily applies to all guys. possibly just the types i've dated, come to think of that. and to be completely fair, all this doesn't mean they don't care about you or that they're jackasses. they do want to protect you....and spare themselves from the worst of a girl's deadliest weapon - her tears.

guys go completely unhinge at the sight of a woman's tears. but then, we all know that kan ;) macamlah tak pernah buat2 nangis to get your big brother to give you his favourite thundercat figurine.