Ex Anonymous

             "God give me the serenity to accept things i can't change; the courage to change the things i can; And the wisdom to know the difference."

Okay, that's from the bible. But peu importe. It's the mantra of Alchoholics Anonymous. I'm trying to kick a habit right now. Not unlike alchohol addiction. Or drugs.

It makes me be someone i thought i would never be, gives me long moments of solitude and heartache, I have to periodically force myself to stay away from it.

Because i know how bad it is for me. And syikin has to sayang diri sendiri!!

Some people go in and out of relationships like it's no big deal. Some people mengamuk, blasah org, cry like banshees, try to commit suicides or starve themselves for a few weeks and then they're okay. 

I tend to pretend everything is okay and rationalise  even while all my insides are hurting. So this goes on for a long time. Then one day a few months/years later i'll like a guy and that's how i know i've recovered. Because this girl can't juggle for peanuts.

So right now i'll just concentrate on not falling off the wagon, how bout that? Because there's this guy. And he has a tendency to whisper sweet nothings in my ears. And i kinda have a weakness for that.

Ladies, in this kind of situation, we have to love ourselves. And know that just because people fall out of love doesn't make either of them any less great. We have to define ourselves outside of a relationship, get to know the important things in life, the small pleasures.

Family, friends and school. Darn. School. 2e annee has started and my head is whirling about on the intricacies of how to survive it. How to pass ecole d'inge with minimum knowledge...still hoping the magic trick works...ta-da! Pass. I pray.

Malam nie ade soiree parrainage. And seperti biase, kitorang malas gile nak pegi. Raining sumore you know..rase nak snuggle in bed je. But since the BDE has come up with a system to hantar budak balik whenever we want, takpelah. Go to one soiree a year...this is it. Courage.

And if i fall off the wagon again, i'm gonna get right back up again. Because i so do not want to be the girl other girls want to bitch-slap.