it's killing me to see you go after all this time

Aku dah biase sampai tak perasan.

Most people know me and beb are broken up. And when they see us in public together biasenye aku punyer ar manja macam longing tak igt dunia. And aku tak pernah sedar perception orang laen, never understood the concept of depan org kene sopan.

Couple or not....makes no difference.

Bur Beb is.....beb. And he doesn't change for anyone. So bile die macam jerk kat aku in public aku baru sedar org laen cam shocked....igt die marah ke ape ke? Relax ar, it's just how he is aku tak amik hati. So other people might be wondering the part asal aku sibuk nak manja2 lg.

Well, it's not complicated. Girls like to think they want a guy who will appreciate them for their mind. Who will respect them, who will treat them as equals. Yeah...the problem is, equality means they get to make fun of you when you don't do something as well as they do.

Yes, i do wonder sometimes why the hell am i still here. But then something happens and the only person i want to tell is beb.

Because i actually like him. I like that he calls everytime Man U has a goal. I like that we can scream and yell and argue for hours over nothing pastu gelak2 cam nothing happened. I like that he likes Greek mythology. I like that he's not afraid to tell me point blank bile aku malas/degil/salah (tapi kalo bole cube preserve ego aku jugak laen kali). I like that he calls every day girlfriend or not, whether aku nak angkat ke tak.

Macam bole jadi bestfriend. Except for.....

But i absolutely cannot stand some things about him, kalo difikirkan cam lots of things sbenarnye. And die cannot stand me in some ways, bukannye aku ni angel pon......i've been a jerk as well, kitorang ikut turn. So definitely would not work out in the long run.

So is it totally wrong if we just decide to spend the time we have left in france together and yet not be together?

ko risau sangat i'll cry later. but i don't think i will. the you-being-a-jerk part, the seeing-you-with-another-girl part....sume dah biase. no worries. though i can't imagine life without you. mesti no drama, gile bosan.

you might cry though. tu tak tau ar :p