quicksand

it's started. and i must escape before aku kesedapan duduk dalam quicksand.

last week i lived in a bubble. i did nothing but babysit and read manga. nothing. i even ponteng interview without saying anything to the HR.

i've sorta created an angle for myself where i've convinced everyone in my family that i have a plan. that i'm to be trusted. that i won't screw up. so when i said i wasn't going to the interview everyone was like, "you're sure? okay."

hmm. will things really work out? i wonder.

everybody assumed that i want to 'berehat'. ehhh? what is that? is my default mode of passive relaxation in the face of stress for the past year not berehat enough? home is very comfy. astro, tons of dvd,  internet laju that i can stream series and movies, and unlike life in france, there's always food to eat (isn't it a good thing i'm not a picky eater?). 

i've even forgotten what the outside world looks like. i go for days without checking facebook or email. EMAIL. is this the face of someone who is job-hunting?

tomorrow is the fourth week i've been back. if i don't snap out of it this could continue for months.

ayu, we have to activate the plan!! rendez-vous at ym soon, bole?