v day yang sungguh

*if you read this post you will have wasted 5 minutes of your life*

honestly, i will freak out if any guy asks me out on valentine's day. because i tend to hang out for platonic reasons. dinner is ok right? there aren't any connotations at our age, it's hanging out with friends. even many dinners.

seriously, even though i always sound knowledgeable in relationship issues, i have very little actual experience. i don't think i've ever really casually dated! i just magically turn them into my boyfriend and then spend years after the break up obsessing on them.

although, for some reason, guy friends says inappropriate things to me all the time. i don't know if it's because i came across as too easy going or it's because i keep saying friends with benefits is ok. fyi : my version of friends with benefits isn't necessarily the bad kind. i don't mean it that way. but it is my fault because i always choose the most suggestive turn of phrase. friends with benefits could mean so many things.

i am awful at the slightest hint of commitment. i freak out if a guy messages successively when i haven't replied. i freak out if the invitation sounds in any way too forward. i turn my phone off as a result.

oh and on the other end of the spectrum, i still bash my head at how i still hang out with total a** who only keeps me around as a backup plan and whose whole grandiose plan of keeping me sweet on him hinges on token phone calls on my birthday and valentine's day. i so deserve better.